The bar I went to tonight has prompted me to create a whole new category on this blog. Yes, it was that bad.
From now on, when I go to a bar that is so godawful that I walk away wanting those hours of my life back, I’m going to write about it here.
Maybe that’s not fair though. After all, we all have different tastes and opinions, right? Maybe some people enjoy bad draft beer, auto-grats, watered-down cocktails and indifferent service. Normally, I forgive the last one on the list but the first three really make it hard to overlook.
So you don’t clean your pipes. Every beer is stale; the kind of taste you might get if the bartender put together a pint with the spill from all of the pints they’ve been pulling all night. Some (Rickard’s Red) are downright near-skunky but we let it pass because we were having a good time (and we’re probably too nice for own good anyway).
Your cocktails suck. I’ve had every kind of shitty drink you can find in this city but I’ve yet to come across one that’s watered-down and this bar’s definitely a contender. My coworker’s lychee martini might’ve been almost 1 oz of booze if we’d been pissed but it was the first drink of the night and it was pretty damn obvious.
The mediocre service I could overlook except that our table was slapped with an automatic gratuity.
What the fuck?
We ordered no food and you never bothered to tell us that you were going to tack it on to our bill (nor was there any mention of it on the menu). I’ve yet to go to a bar that does that and I wouldn’t have minded so much if the drinks had been good and the bartender had put together our round of shots in a timely manner (ten minutes is a bit much).
The icing on the cake had to be the manager-on-duty coming up to us and offering us VIP cards for (get this) free pool if we referred his establishment to our guests when they asked us for a recommendation. Then, and only then, would we could get a free game of pool and a line-bypass.
Whoop-de-fuckin’-doo.
VIP Lounge & Billiards Club is a shithole.
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You and your friends do not know what you are talking about. It is obvious that you are being paid by the competion across the street to write tjis review.
VIP is one of the cleanest establishments in downtown Toronto. You do not know anything about beer and beer lines because if you did you would notice that VIP has only 3 feet of beer line per tap and they get cleaned every 2 months where as the average bar has over 25 feet of bar line per tap and they clean them once every 2 years.
VIP hosts at leat 5 corparte parties per month for about 100 to 150 people and these corporations are repeat customers.
The establiashemnt is clean, safe and serves the best of beer, liquor and food.
By the way the only shithole around is up you ass.
yes
Let’s take your points in turn.
I’ve never patronized your competition across the street but I’m now sorely tempted to review them too and see if they’re better than your establishment (which, I fear, would not be too difficult a task).
I can’t say I noticed the length of your beer lines and a clean every two months sounds nice but most of the beer my party ordered tasted slightly off, with two being undrinkable. If it’s not the taps what is it? The Fox & The Fiddle serves the same brands and it doesn’t taste that bad. What gives?
You can talk about repeat business but I don’t give a fuck. My blog is about enjoying quality wine, beer and spirits and you fail on all counts. Maybe the time I came in was an off-night but you fucked up and there’s no getting around that.
Now that we’re done with that…
Maybe one day you’ll grow up and be a real bar. Or maybe you’ll continue to drift on the sea of mediocrity; you have plenty of company. To be honest, I wouldn’t have even reviewed your bar if my coworkers hadn’t dragged me in there. I’ve lived in Toronto over eight years and Yonge St. (from Bloor to Queen) is one of the worst strips in the city to drink on. Hoops Sports Bar & Grill up the street isn’t that great but it’s three times the bar VIP will ever be.
Since you mentioned the Fox & Fiddle, nowI know that you know nothing about bars and beer because you have been drinking Lakeport for so long at the Fox & Fiddle that any beer you are served will taste the same to you.
You have no qualifications to rate any establishment and you are probably pisssed off because at VIP you were expecting a free meal and drink.
Perhaps you should stick to rating the new food carts that the city has approved throughout the city.
Now you’re just being an idiot. Leaving aside the fact that I don’t make a habit of going to the Fox very often, they don’t serve Lakeport and some of their beers (Strongbow, Guinness and Kilkenny) aren’t half-bad. At the very least, I’ve never ordered something there and not been able to finish it so they’re doing a better job than you.
If you had paid any attention to this blog, you’d have noticed that I spend a fair bit of time reviewing beer; I’ve tried most products as they become available at the LCBO and I spend far more time at bars like C’est What?, drinking quality local brews, than I do at your typical pub.
I wasn’t expecting any freebies at your bar so I could hardly be pissed when I didn’t receive any. What did piss me off was being asked to help bring in customers after experiencing the poor service and product and being auto-grated on top of that.
As for being a qualified reviewer, what, pray tell, would net me those qualifications? Who are you to presume? For that matter who are you? Are you a manager at VIP or are you the owner?
See, unlike you, I don’t presume to tell people that they’re not qualified to criticize me. I’ve been working in this industry for over eight years, in a wide variety of positions and establishments. I’m also an enthusiast. Everyday, I read a number of newspapers, blogs and other websites that focus on new products, the industry and mixology. I really give a shit about this stuff which puts me ahead of the average bartender and consumer and gives me the wherewithal to pass judgment on shitty establishments like yours. I call that qualified. I’m not the final word in the arbitration of taste but I’m a decent writer and I can communicate my thoughts without having to rely on cheap insults like you do.
Instead of getting all bent out of shape at receiving a thumbs-down from me (it’s not even on the first page of Google search results for your bar; relax) why don’t you try to do better and show that you can rise above any criticism?
Alternatively, you could always just ignore what I said since you’re probably not going to miss having my coworkers and I patronize your establishment (although you can be sure we will never recommend it to the many, many guests who pass through our hotel). Also, anyone reading my blog probably wouldn’t go to your place anyway so it’s not like you’re missing out on any potential business.
Responding like this indicates to me that you’re either completely oblivious to how much your bar sucks or you know exactly what I’m talking about and just couldn’t take it.
Either way, you suck, bravo! Now go eat a cookie.