Tag Archive: 585 GRRD


How to throw the best parties, part 1

Or how to entertain at home and make it look effortless.

I’ve been throwing parties since I was a wet-behind-the-ears freshman at art school. Back then, it consisted of a couple 24s of the cheapest beer I could find, a bottle of vodka and some insanely-sweet liqueurs and potent mix of classmates and club-kids. Nudity was a foregone conclusion and the three bedrooms in the house were valuable territories with no-man’s land being the long, narrow hallway.

As always, things change, people grow up (somewhat), you have more money to throw around and your tastes become simultaneously more refined and debauched.

Some things, however, remain the same. Booze + music + crowd = good time. Where it gets interesting is the infinite amount of variables that you can play around with.

Before I wrote this, I Googled for how-to’s and guides and one thing was glaringly evident: the people who throw great parties sure as hell aren’t writing about it. Most of what I found was either incredibly straight or stupid and nearly all of it was useless.

Nobody needs to know how to throw your average get-together or function. A little food and drink and background music will keep squarely within the realm of mostly-forgettable events that serve as social grease for lots of folks.

If you’ve read this far, you probably don’t want that.

While you’re not a frat boy, you haven’t quite given up on life yet. You want your guests to enjoy themselves and you want to have fun.  You don’t want to trash your house (after all, you’ve spent some time and money to get it looking nice like that) and even though you had the foresight to get the next day off from work, you probably want to be in bed by the time the sun comes up. Maybe you even want to make some money.

585 GRRD is here to help.

We started with The Awkward Adolescent Party last year which was exactly what it sounds like. In January, we had Bramazon, which was a birthday for a close friend, Bram. The theme was “excess” so naturally we got dressed up, had a full bar and did all we could to make sure the night lived up to its tag.

Last weekend, we threw Smashed for Timbits, another birthday but for my fellow 585 GRRDer, Ash. The theme (very loosely applied) was “90′s hip hop” and we scaled back the bar to a couple of kegs and Purple Drink which is simply vodka and Kool-Aid. This one featured more of a BYOB element but the bar was empty by about ten in the morning.

By the end of this article, you’re going to be able to see how you can throw the best jam ever (hopefully without getting kicked out of your pad or getting arrested).

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The Awkward Adolescent Party

awkward-adolescent-party-poTomorrow, my roommates and I (collectively known as 585 GRRD) are having another party. Mike’s girlfriend came up with the theme explicated in the title and things proceeded quickly from there. You can check out the invite here but suffice it to say, dressing up is encouraged and the playlist will cause nostalgic orgasms in all who hear it.

Booze-wise, it’s going to be simultaneously more complicated and yet simpler than previous affairs. I’ve hired a bartender for the evening. Farah works with me at Nocturne and she’ll be serving beer, vodka and slushies… alcoholic slushies of course.

Mike’s brother (he runs Ed’s Real Scoop in Leslieville, go get some ice cream) has graciously offered us the use of his slushie machine. Take some juice, ice, add 60oz of vodka and you’ve got just the thing to cool down 80+ sweaty bodies jammed into a tiny apartment.

With the slushies, I plan on getting a bit creative. I’m getting some aloe and pineapple juice and I imagine I’ll add the rest of my strawberry syrups at some point during the night.

Of course, I plan on letting people bring whatever booze they might want but when it runs out they can pony up to the bar. We’ll be selling tickets for a measly $5 or 4 for $20.

It should be tons of fun and I’m planning on leading a raid on the public pool in the wee hours of the morning should things get too muggy.

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